Celebration of Life
November 27, 2024 at 11AM
Wagg Funeral Home
Music ~ Audrey Beauchamp
Celebrant ~ Juli Conard
Prelude (10min)
Welcome and Words of Grace
Welcome. My name is Juli and it is an honor to be here as we celebrate the life and legacy of Ralph John Forsyth, on what would have been his 79th birthday. Today we remember a man, who spent his life leaving his fingerprint upon each one of us through his love and zest for life. On behalf of the family, we extend a heartfelt thank you for your support during this time. The Forsyth family would like to thank everyone for their love over the last few weeks especially. They are forever grateful and humbled by the outpouring of support. Your presence here today speaks volumes about the impact that Ralph had on all those who crossed his path and his porch.
The family wishes to extend an invitation for you to gather for a reception immediately following today’s service for a time of refreshments and reflection. Immediately following the reception, family and friends are invited to Pine Grove Cemetery, Prince Albert for interment.
Let us be honest with death. Let us not pretend that it is less than it is. It is separation. It is sorrow. It is grief. But let us neither pretend that death is more than it is. It is not the end. As long as memory endures, Ralph’s influence will be felt. It is not an end to love. It is not an end to joy and laughter—nothing would dishonor his soul more. Let us be honest with death, for in that honesty we will understand Ralph better and ourselves more deeply.
I share with you the agony of your grief; I know I cannot entail all you feel but I can offer what my love does give: the strength of caring, the warmth of one who seeks to understand such a loss. Please know that on this often lonely path of grief you do not walk alone.
Opening Prayer
God of love, we gather to celebrate the life of Ralph John Forsyth. We give thanks for the love that was shared, and that has touched our hearts. We hold tenderly all the memories shared. We hold our grief in this place together. May we feel your heartbeat as a reminder that we are never alone. May we find peace in our memories, in our laughter and in our tears and may we always remember that Your love is infinite and flows through us all in this life and beyond. Amen.
The Story of the Dragonfly
Adapted from Michel Dufour
At the bottom of an old pond lived a group of larvae – they were a happy family – a tight knit family so they could never understand why when any of them moved up through the long lily stalks to the surface of the water, they never returned to see those they left behind.
After a large family meeting, the larvae promised each other that the next ones who would rise to the surface, would return to tell the others what happens up there and share their adventures from above.
Soon, one of these larvae felt an irresistible desire to rise to the surface. He began to walk upwards through the long, thin lily stems and when he finally broke through to the surface of the water… exhausted he lay to rest on a lily leaf. And then he experienced a magnificent transformation that turned him into a beautiful dragonfly with the most magnificent wings. He tried to keep his promise to his friends below, but it was in vain. He simply had to test out his new wings!
Flying from one end of the pond to the other from bulrushes to wildflowers and over the lilies, he could see his family below the surface of the water. He understood that even if they in turn had been able to see him, they would no longer recognize him as one of their family – for he was now a new radiant creature with spectacular wings.
You see, the truth is, death is merely transformation – it’s change. We may not be able to see or talk to our beloved, but that does not mean that they have ceased to exist. They are no longer with us physically – they have moved to a new adventure, a new place with a new view to care for us from the beyond. You see, death is nothing more than a change of mission.
In the Garden FG #588 vs. 1 & 3
Lord’s Prayer
During these times, with overwhelming emotions, is when we need one another’s company for understanding and support. Just to be together, to see each other, takes away some of our loneliness and draws our hearts together in healing, human goodness and hope. We come together to celebrate Ralph’s life, to give thanks that we knew this incredible man, to express our gratitude for the time that we were able to share with him. We are here today to let go, but also to embrace the parts of Ralph that he has now entrusted to us.
As we search for peace beyond understanding, let us come together in prayer as we say together,
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory for ever and ever. Amen
Man of Worth: A Eulogy
Ralph John Forsyth was born on November 27, 1945 in Springbrook Ontario to the late Hugh Donald Forsyth and Margaret Rosalia Ryan. He spent his early years with his siblings Larry, Betty Lou and Hugh Junior. This was the first of many homes for Ralph as he set out on his own at a mere 14 years old, moving town to town, painting barns. He found himself working here in Port Perry by 16 where he met his love, Beverley, at Bike Night at Haugens and from that moment on, Ralph set down his roots and made this town his home. The McNeill family welcomed him as one of their own and he built lasting relationships and showed up for each of them in their time of need as they did for him even in his final days.
Ralph and Beverly were married in 1965 in a double wedding with Susan and Carl. Their family grew when Dale arrived in 1966 and again when Shelly arrived in 1970. Used to the nomadic lifestyle of a barn painter, the family lived on Perry Street, Queen Street, Lila Street, Elgin Street and finally settled to their beautiful family home on Caleb Street around 1980 – thanks to young Dale’s persistence and negotiation. He rode his bike down to the Real Estate office to see how much the house was and to book a viewing of the house. This would later become home to many other family members and friends as they passed through different transitions in their own lives. The door was always open, the music was always playing, food was always on the table and Ralph was always eager to help, patient to teach and willing to listen. An attitude of “If you have more than you need, build a longer table, not a higher fence” was how Ralph lived his life.
He was a hard-working man from a young age. After his stint painting barns, he was a butcher at IGA, spent some time working at Ballard Lumber, Mill operator at Consolidated Sand and Gravel Stouffville, the roads department and later retired from GM after 30 years of service. A work ethic that is rivaled today, he rarely missed a day of work…but his true passion and purpose in this life was his family.
Ralph was a man of many talents and one of his most admired virtues was his patience. Dale claims that everything he knows about cars, motorcycles, snowmobiles, small engines, woodworking, renovations he learned from his Dad. It didn’t matter if you didn’t understand or get it the first time, he was always calm and would explain it or show it again and again until you did. And then he would always reassure you, congratulate you and build up your confidence to go out and do the thing on your own. What Shelly remembers most about her Dad was his quiet strength and always being there when she needed him. Shelly can remember as a young child having migraines and Ralph would sit with her for hours so she would know she was not alone. When her children were younger and sick Ralph would show up with a brand new digital thermometer bringing anything you need to help make them feel better.
As kids at Family Nights at Gran’s, Shelly and Dale and all the kids would go out and hunt dew worms, then Ralph would show them how to make dew worm balls and taught them how to catch mudcat down at the lake. They would come home in the dark and fill the tub full of fish for Gran to clean in the morning. If anyone had to use the bathroom in the night they were sure to get splashed with all the fish flopping around in the tub!
Ralph loved to go on adventures and wanted the kids to experience and seize every opportunity to experience life. He took Shelly on a bus to explore Ottawa and also on a Thousand Islands Cruise. They did Karate together, they jogged the track, rode bikes, played euchre, spent a lot of time cross country skiing at Trillium Trails and Durham Forest. He loved rollercoasters and would TAKE the kids to Canada’s Wonderland…where Shelly and Dale, who were neither fond of rides, would watch their Dad ride every-single-rollercoaster…yep…just watch. So technically, as Dale says, they TOOK him to Wonderland!
The protective side of Ralph really shone when Ernie began dating Shelly. Back then the cool kids hung out in the IGA parking lot, and one date night, before dark even!, they were sitting in said parking lot when Ernie saw a man approaching the car in the rearview mirror and said… “Shelly! I think that’s your dad coming up behind us!” And as Ralph appeared at the window he pointed right at Ernie and said “You get her home now!” When Shelly and Ernie were preparing for their wedding , Ralph would pull out the Wedding Planning Book every Sunday after dinner and the family would go over all the details to make sure that everything was perfect and looked after for their Wedding Day. Ralph loved Ernie and treated him like a son, mentored him and coached him…just last week Ralph grabbed Ernie’s hand and said to Ernie “Your wife is a good woman and very patient.” And Ernie responded with “Yes, yes she is.” And Ralph quickly piped up with “That’s the right answer!” Always looking out for his girl and he trusted Ernie would do the same.
Ralph had a special place in his heart for Dale’s Edie, and he in hers. Edie shared with me that they had many heartfelt talks and what she admired most about him was that even though he had a hard childhood he never let it define him. Instead, it was like he used that as fuel to be a better man, to give what he didn’t have, to make a better life for not only his kids but for all kids. All the loud Sunday dinners, the full house and all the Porch People were a testament to a “good man” who really and truly made a difference in this world. He listened when others would not or could not. He was a trusted keeper of secrets…and he had the grin to prove it – you know the one? With the little head nod that said “I know something you don’t know!” and you would know there was more, but you would never hear the more from him.
Ralph was there for each grandchild’s birth. He was the first person to hold Thomas – even before Shelly and Ernie. He was there when Cody arrived and made it to Oshawa in time to help welcome Brittany to the world too. They were his pride and joy and he made it his mission to spend time with each of them and make lasting memories. In kindergarten, when it was Thomas’ turn for show and tell, he took his Grandpa. He went to every one of Cody’s t-ball and baseball games. He would take Brittany and Grandma on drives sometimes around the same blocks, for hours and hours and they would sing and talk and drive…
Ralph was known as Grandpa by the neighbors’ children and all of the grandkids’ friends too and they would often be found hanging out with him on the porch. The porch was the gathering place to talk about life, to seek advice and to kick back and shoot the breeze. It was a safe place in the neighborhood where everyone was welcome. He was quick witted with a great sense of humor and a great listener. But most importantly, he understood the power of presence. He knew that his time and attention were the ultimate currency of love, and so when you were with him, you had his full attention…you had his heart.
Ralph welcomed Emily and Brianna to the family with open arms. Calling to check in with them and bonding with each in their own ways. Getting to know them and leaving his mark upon their hearts as only he could do. Ralph was so proud of the boys finding their true love in such hard working young women.
He loved being a great grandpa. He would get down on his hands and knees to teach Tyler how to crawl. Brittany says that she and Tyler will always remember him as a giraffe – because he lived so tall and they will always look up to him. Tyler loved his visits with Great Grandpa and he says now that “Great Grandpa is flying with the Angels.” When Brianna was ‘out to here’ pregnant, Ralph would tell her she looked beautiful even when she felt awful…and tell her how excited he was to meet the baby. He beamed when he first held Lydia in his arms and her tiny hand held his finger tight…they had a special bond. Although his time was short with both Tyler and Lydia, he loved them fiercely and completely.
Ralph loved to ride his Harley. He figured out at a young age that two wheels move the soul. He passed his love of motorcycles on to Dale, Cody, Thomas and Ernie. Where, they too, learned that no matter how bad your day is, your bike will always make you feel better because you can’t really think about more than where you are. There is something freeing about a bike and an open road…The boys would do an annual Father’s Day ride and show up on Caleb street 6 wide and Ralph would come out grinning ear to ear…heart bursting with pride.
To know Ralph you would know he loved a meticulous lawn and took pride in both his vegetable and flower gardens. He proudly won the biggest zucchini in all of Port Perry one year, and also produced pumpkins so big they couldn’t be lifted to be moved. He grew the most beautiful dinner plate dahlias – the envy of the neighborhood. He was known to be a neat freak, keeping the fridge organized just so, the curtains washed regularly, clothes hung neatly (on the treadmill), and he vacuumed daily…in fact…Cody says Grandpa would just vacuum around you if you slept in!
In Ralph’s last days, it was a revolving door of guests. The family didn’t call to ask people to come and visit, they just showed up… they just called…they were just there. There were laughs, stories, advice and “I love you’s”- a true testament to a man who gave his all to his family and his neighbors…a man worthy to receive love after a lifetime of giving so much.
When I think of Ralph, I imagine a tall, old oak tree. One with roots deep and wide in the earth, grounded and prepared for any storm or weather that life may bring him. I see how he has taken the earth and the water provided him, and turned it into sustenance and growth. And how he provided so many with shelter, warmth, beauty, new perspectives and protection. I see his branches of beauty offering shade to all those that seek. I see how tall and strong he stood reaching towards the sun, seeking the light and the good in all there is. I see the cycle of life as his leaves and branches fell to the earth, to then be used as fuel to support itself and its purpose for another season. And yet, as deeply rooted, and magnificent and tall and strong as the oak tree is, a time comes when it too falls…and becomes a lasting memory. When great trees fall, after a period of time, peace blooms, new life emerges…slowly. And the space left behind will begin to fill in, never to be the same. And we can see the gifts of the great tree, and hear it’s memory whisper to us “he existed.” He existed. We can be. Be and be better. Because he existed.
We can never forget that there is a part of him in each of us. What we’ve inherited from him cannot be damaged, destroyed or lost. It is permanent and it keeps him from becoming just a wonderful memory. It allows him in so many ways to remain just as alive as always – alive through each of us.
Thank you Ralph for showing us a new way to see the world, for being an example of how to live passionately and purposefully. Thank you for your generosity, your laughter and for showing us all how to live life to the fullest. Thank you for your love and patience and your gentleness – and most importantly, thank you for the memories.
Amazing Grace FG #107, 1, 2, 5 vs
Family Reflections
It has been said that “we make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” Today as we remember all the ways that Ralph has impacted and influenced us, we realize how much of himself he actually gave to us. I believe that love and memories are the most important thing that we take with us when we leave this world, and the most important things that we leave behind, for in them, we find the solace and the peace and the strength to carry on. We are now the keepers of these memories – a precious gift we receive and share with one another – certainly a gift that we hold dear in our hearts forever.
- Ernie Scriver
For those of you who don’t know me, I’m the proud son in law of Ralph.
I have always felt gratitude for how Ralph and Bev helped Dale’s family and Shelly and I just after we were married.
Shelly and I lived in an apartment on the corner of Simcoe and 7A.
Dale had bought a house on Simcoe just down the road from our apartment and at the time was struggling to make payments. Something these days we all know about it.
One day Ralph came to us with a plan to help Dale and to allow him to keep his house.
He asked us if we would move into Dale’s house and pay the rent for the mortgage and Dale and his family would move back into the upstairs of Bev and Ralphs and live there rent free until things were good again.
When Dale was able to move back into his home we could live at Bev and Ralphs rent free to save money for a down payment to buy our first home.
We are forever grateful to Bev and Ralph for this opportunity for our family.
Over the last 30 years I have thought of Ralph’s part in this situation. Ralph was such a smart man. He knew he couldn’t help Dale on his own so he came up with this plan that included the whole family and would benefit all of us. Something this family makes me proud to be a part of is they are always willing to help each other.
Ralph was humble. He had to ask his proud son to let him help and to ask us to help as well. To this day I still remember that conversation at our kitchen table. I remember a man that would always figure out a plan to look after his family.
Ralph was an honest man. This plan took many years to be complete and he made sure it was done right. In the end Dale had his home and Shelly and I were able to purchase our first home on Bigelow Street. We may not have been able to do this without Ralph and Bev.
Ralph was grateful. He thanked us many times for our part in this plan.
These are all great qualities that Ralph always had and would lead by example.
Something I have admired about him and have tried to do the same throughout our marriage. Help people along the way as best you can.
I have been trying to think of the words to describe Bev and Ralph and they came to me a few days ago when Shelly let me hear an endearing message she received from her Uncle Bobby. He said “They are just good people.” And I thought that’s it! They were just good people.
- Brianna Simpson & Cody Forsyth
- Joanne Hope
It is to each of us that the living memories of Ralph’s life are committed to our hearts and minds. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your memories with us today, and know that these memories are sacred and will be held dear to our hearts, forever.
When Tomorrow Starts without Me – Trey Pendley
The Wolf
The other day, I asked the family “if you were to think of Ralph as an animal, what animal would that be?” and without hesitation, almost all of them said “a wolf”.
Did you know that in some cultures wolves are considered to be spiritual messengers? They are believed to be able to travel between worlds and exist in different spiritual planes simultaneously. What’s also interesting though, are the characteristics of a wolf.
In the wild, wolves may face many challenges and obstacles, but they persevere and find ways to survive and thrive. This tenacious animal can adapt to changing circumstances, no matter how hard they seem to be. The wolf is resilient and persistent, he never gives up even when things get tough. They have a sharp intelligence for dealing with important matters. They are courageous and strong and confident leaders. They are unapologetically themselves – they always do what is right and true for themselves and their pack. They trust themselves and their intuition – they are an intriguing mix of power, loyalty, guardianship and teamwork. Because of their tenacity, they are successful in their hunt, meaning that they live in abundance and are always able to provide for and protect their families.
Wolves are known for their strong social bonds. They hunt in packs, relying on strong communication and cooperation to survive. They live in community and thrive on connection, knowing wisdom lives within each member of the pack.
When wolves travel, they move together, in a specific formation. The strongest are out front, the oldest and sickest and youngest are in the middle, followed by more strength at the back of the pack. The last wolf though, is the LEADER. He ensures that no one is left behind. He keeps the pack tight and on the same path. He is ready to run in any direction to protect his pack – because being a leader is not about being in front…it’s about taking care of your pack.
The wolf’s untamed spirit represents the wild, free, and unconstrained nature that lives within us all. It reminds us to break free from limitations and embrace our unique path. It seems to me that Ralph embodied these very characteristics within him…so it’s no wonder that you each sensed the Spirit of the Wolf within Ralph. May both the Spirit of the Wolf and the Spirit of Ralph now inspire you to be true to yourself, to follow your heart and to live your life to the fullest…just as he taught you to do.
Benediction
There have been and will be times in our lives when situations arise where we’ll want so much to talk to Ralph, to sit on the porch, be with him or ask him just what we should do. I hope that, when those times come, we can look to each other and find that part of him that he gave to each of us. Maybe we can learn to lean on each other and rely on each other the way we always knew that we could with him. Maybe then he won’t seem quite so far away.
Family and Friends, in the days ahead, we will need each other as we each set out on our own open roads – with our own heartbeat and handlebars – as we search to fill the void left behind. Remember that the journey is what makes a life, the destination is just a bonus. Let us go from this place with hope in our hearts, a renewed zest for life and may we honor Ralph by working hard, riding hard and living fully just as he taught us to do. In honor of Ralph, and how he always did things his own way, it seems appropriate to leave the Biker’s Blessing upon Ralph and also upon you:
May the sun rise in front of you,
The rain fall behind you,
and the wind follow you.
May you be safe through the rolling hills and the swirling turns.
Let the eagle guide you to the mountain tops,
Let the moons light guide you through the night,
May the Angels guard your travels for they know what is ahead.
May you ride forever freely with God by your side,
Until we meet again.
Amen.
Recessional
*********
INTERMENT at Pine Grove Cemetery
We have come together to entomb the ashes of our brother Ralph – a man who made our world a better and brighter place. We are left with moments both sweet and sad, with smiles and sometimes tears, with friendships formed and good times shared, and laughter throughout the years. A life well lived is a precious gift, and we are so grateful for the life and love of Ralph – the man who lived fiercely every day.
Let us pray:
Lord,
You have lit the day with the sun’s light and the midnight with shining stars. Lighten our hearts today as we celebrate the life of Ralph John Forsyth. We ask that you surround his family and friends with the warmth of Your comfort and the strength of Your love. We are thankful that Ralph lived, that he loved us, supported us, cared for us, blessed us with his steady patience and reliable presence. We ask that his memory and his legacy be carried out in each of us, that we may honor his life and his work just as he honored ours. We ask that his soul rests in eternal peace in your loving care. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.
Scripture Reading
Let us hear now the reading of the 23 Psalm:
Psalm 23
A psalm of David.
1 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever.
This is the word of the Lord. Thanks be to God.
Let us pray:
St. Francis of Assisi Prayer
Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.
Ralph, today we say Thank You. We are grateful for the generosity of your love and warmth of your Spirit. We are thankful for sharing your zest of life, your love of riding, your talents and knowledge, your strength, and your laughter with us, for being a rock when we needed you, for being loyal, for being our friend. Thank you for existing to make our world a better place. We release you now, Ralph, to rest in peace, and rise in glory, to soar the heavens, now and forever more.
Committal Statement:
Facing Ralph:
Into your hands, Loving Father, we place Ralph John Forsyth. We ask that you receive him into the blessed rest of everlasting peace. We commend the soul of our brother departed, and we commit his body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust in sure and certain hope of Everlasting Life. Amen.
Facing the congregation:
We cherish the memories we have with Ralph and carry him in our hearts forever. Let us now go from this place in comfort and peace, assured that even in this time of loss and sorrow that life remains precious and good. May we also on this day rekindle in our hearts an appreciation for the gift of life, let us honor the life of Ralph by living more freely in the days ahead and be reminded that love never fails.
And so I leave you with this final blessing:
May the Lord bless and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. Amen.
Family may place flowers or lower the urn to it’s final resting place