*You can’t unseen these pictures*

Journal Entry #54

It is 8 months today, since I was bitten by several hundred sand fleas in Belize.  Sand fleas that carried Leishmaniasis Vianna, a flesh eating parasite that if left untreated is fatal within 2 years of infestation.  They infested in the right foot, the left hand and the left forearm of my body.

8 months.

Currently, I am in full detox mode, finally eliminating the Chemo from my system. Which basically means I am feeling like I am taking the Miltefosine all over again.

I wouldn’t wish detox on my worst enemy (not that I have any). But, I know it is only temporary and soon this drug will be out of my system. Onward!

Tonight, I did a little reflection on the journey so far. I was surprised when my stomached turned upside down at some of the pictures.  I must have compartmentalized this – how did I wash and bandage this 3x/day for the last several months – especially when it was at its worst?  I can hardly believe that this was my body…my foot.  It is disgusting…I mean, those microscopic bugs did some serious damage!  I remember joking that it was “feeding time” or that “they must be hungry” but looking back, I must have disconnected going through it, just to deal with the trauma.  Tonight, as I reflect, I can see why I am so emotional these days…because I wasn’t when I was going through it.  I was strong, I dealt with what was, and I stayed positive.

Honestly, my freak out, emotion and stress of this whole ordeal didn’t happen until the bugs were dead and my body began to heal.  What a weird sequence of events!

So, tonight’s entry is a journey through pictures of the foot.  If you are at all queasy, stop scrolling now.  There are no wise words beyond this point, no whining, complaining, no joys to celebrate.  This is acceptance…it is what it is.

You will notice that the worst of the ulcers were when I was awaiting the arrival of the Miltefosine from Germany (April) and while I was taking the drug (May/early June).  The wound actually didn’t start to show signs of healing until day 32/38 of Chemo.

It all began on this unsuspecting beach in Belize on December 25, 2018…

Isn’t the body an amazing healer?

xo Juli