Journal Entry #64
It’s funny how as I get back on my feet, looking well, engaging in social events, people assume that I am back to my old self. That I am well. That I can handle the asks and the wants. When I look good on the outside, the world can’t see what is still healing on the inside.
Don’t get me wrong. It is nice to be back in the office a few days a week. I am seeing about 1/3 of the clients that I would normally see. I am saying “NO” a lot as I find a balance. I am saying “YES” a lot as I find a balance. I am constantly walking a tightrope, negotiating the forces that both support me and push me off balance. Overall, this is what I have concluded:
I don’t get to choose what I go through in life. BUT, I do get to choose HOW I go through it.
As much as I want to take the high road and be an example of HOW to go through life with grace and ease…I have days where I am NOT successful.
Today is one of those days.
Today, I totally played the victim card. And, I am NOT proud of that.
My tightrope has been compromised, I’ve lost balance. I would like to say that I have been lovingly assertive in my push back…but how can one be sure until the consequences are seen?
Let me give you a little back story.
Our family has been without a fridge for 5+ weeks now. It is less than 2 years old, and when it went kaput, the kids and I had to clean out and eliminate the entire contents of the fridge and freezer. The technician has been out to fix it at least 4 times, installing several “new” parts. The latest, an overload capacitor, was installed at 3pm yesterday. Today, the fridge is still working its guts out, and it is NOT COLD. The same problem that was called into The Brick 5 weeks ago.
Now, in all fairness, Tim has been the one calling and dealing with the levels of this absurd warranty program. My role, has been to be here and meet the service guy, every time. Now, Tim is in Italy on a business trip and unable to be making the calls. So, life has handed this responsibility to me.
The frustration and anger engulfed me today. And let me tell you, it isn’t a good feeling.
I called The Brick, and they told me to call King and State as they own the warranty. I called them, not once, not twice, but three times…each time the “please hold” system timed out and my call was disconnected without actually talking to a live person. (Have I mentioned that this company is out of the Bahamas…what?) I remembered Transglobal calling earlier in this process, and although I am not sure what their role is in all this, I reached out to them and they too told me to call King and State. I explained how no one answers the phone when I call, and they kindly gave me an email address, because conveniently, I can’t find a website for their company either.
I am totally getting the run around.
This warranty process is so layered, and although we have a “ticket #”, and everyone can see what has been happening with our claim, NO ONE wants to actually take responsibility to get it fixed!
So, I have spent a large portion of my day today, on the phone. On online support chat forums. And crafting an assertive email, explaining our situation and why this is completely unacceptable. By and large, threatening to go to the Complaints Board and to the media if this matter isn’t resolved IMMEDIATELY.
I am an extremely patient person. But this is completely unacceptable.
Through all of this, I am also acutely aware that this is a First World problem. I am reminded of how many of our friends in Guatemala do not have this luxury. Here, it is a necessity. Amazing, isn’t it? How something as simple as a fridge isn’t a basic need for living across the globe?
To complicate things further, this stress is affecting my health. I am unable to follow the nutritional guidlines that my Doctors have set out for me. The detox process has been stalled, I am unable to juice – unless I go to the market daily, press everything daily and consume what I press daily. There isn’t much storage space in the bar fridge we are using. Just enough room to keep a quart of milk, a block of cheese, cream cheese, a dozen eggs and a few condiments.
Honestly, this is not something that we should have to be dealing with on top of all the other stuff life has asked us to go through this year.
This is not a matter of want. This is not a matter of impatience. This is a matter of HEALTH.
See? I entered the victim paradigm today. I know my letter will read harshly, which isn’t in my normal nature, however, I am extremely emotional, frustrated, feeling unwell and stressed.
No matter how graciously I try to go through life, rolling with the punches, going with the flow…I too, have a threshold on this tightrope.
Today, I reached mine.
I have had ENOUGH.
Today, I am begging the Universe, God, the Divine orchestraters of life…HELP!!!