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November 6, 2019

Just rubbing my scar.

Journal Entry #62

*You can’t un-see these pictures.*

The last shoes I wore were my curling shoes back in March.

Since then, I have only been able to wear ballet-style flats.  Any pressure on the wound on my foot would create friction, make the wound weep and would cause swelling, making it difficult to walk. It has been a long 6+ months of limited footwear.

The first shoes that I have worn since March, are my curling shoes.

The first time, I wore them for only an hour, to walk and slide around on the ice.  The wound oozed for 4 days after that.  I waited another 2 weeks before trying again.  I decided to put on an ointment and a thick bandage to cut down on the friction and to give a little more cushion between my flesh and the laces.  And although there was swelling afterwards, the wound seemed unharmed and there wasn’t any adverse reactions.  Now, I am wearing socks again – thank goodness, since the cold weather is here!  I am still wearing flats daily as they are the most comfortable.  I am sure that will have to change soon as the winter weather approaches.

The wounds themselves are healing up nicely.  Compared to what this looked like a few months ago – this looks amazing!  As you can see the tissue looks healthy, there is no bruising, there has been no weeping in a few weeks.  The scar itself has a vague familiarity though.  Now, I find myself laughing as I rub ointment on it twice a day.  And every time I look at it…that is all I see!

I am plugging away with the detox process.  Juicing is sporadic right now as we are still without a fridge. Otherwise, I am still taking a plethora of supplements and using the sauna and salt-scrubbing. My days are unpredictable.  Some days I can think so clearly, feel amazing and get a lot accomplished.  Other days, I sleep the day away.  Some days my brain works but my body does not cooperate.  I never know what I am going to get until I get into the day.

Overall, I am way better than I was a few months ago.  I am driving again (not long distances), seeing a few clients a week, managing the household (for the most part), and battling the flames that life throws us…like still not having a fridge, the kids coming home with strep throat and me getting double pink eye!

Dr. Katrina has had her work cut out for her.  I see her biweekly for IV Therapy.  We are shifting between replacing vital nutrients in my body and strengthening my immune system.  Unfortunately, two IV’s on the same day went interstitial.  My body kicked the line out, and the fluids went into the tissue of my arm.  My arm was swollen and painful for four days.  During this stressful event, I became nauseous, light headed, crampy and I got a vicious headache. (I am happy to report that the headaches are decreasing in frequency and severity!)  It was a rough treatment and my body was not cooperating.  It is a much better process when my body gets on board with healing. Dr. Katrina has been so patient, put so much effort into research and really gone above and beyond for me.  I honestly don’t know where I would be right now if it weren’t for her.

I’ve spent time in the garden – it feels so good to have my hands in the earth again!  We had a great Thanksgiving even though we were fridge-less.  Faith and I enjoyed a formal Baby Shower for a beautiful baby girl.  I was able to watch several of Canyon’s volleyball games this year!  Tim and I ventured to Ottawa for a work event…it was a formal Awards Gala and we really enjoyed the night out together.

We are back curling on Friday nights and although I struggle to get through a whole game, it feels good to be back on the ice.  Each week, I am a little more steady on the ice, can sweep a little longer and am slowly remembering the strategy of the game.  I am also coordinating the Bantam Curling Program this year.  It sounds like a big task, but I love working with teens and this is a great group of young adults.  There are only 14 coming out right now and I am managing well with this task.  I don’t usually plan anything else on the days that I curl.

I need to remember that it takes as long as it takes.  I just need to be gentle with myself.

The speed of life is picking up and I feel like I am constantly checking to see if I can do just one more thing.  Sometimes I can and sometimes I can’t.  And when I push, I end up in bed at 6:30 in need of a 16 hour sleep.  I am learning to listen to my body in a new way, to really understand what it wants and needs.  Sometimes, I wonder if I am listening too hard.  Sometimes, I want to tell it to shut up.  Sometimes, I feel like the physical signals are so loud that there is no room for mind and spirit.  That being said, I will not go back to ignoring it or being on autopilot.  It’s taken the experience of Leishmaniasis to teach me that!

So, I keep plugging away, moving forward, and laughing as I rub my scar.

ONWARD!

Xo Juli

PS. Don’t lie. You saw it too!

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