“With our own kids, we have the chance to rewrite history – to parent them as we wish we had been parented. Thus does our own re-parenting occur. We release the future as we release the past.”
I love this card. My husband and I have been practicing what we call “conscious parenting” for several years now. There are lots of different elements to this awareness, but primarily our philosophy is that when we heal the unresolved pieces of ourselves, we create space for our kids to do the same. Our children are our best teachers. When they trigger us, annoy us and push us to our limits we see it as an opportunity to resolve the unresolved. When we lose our cool, we often respond at the level of a child and not with the consciousness of a healed adult. What if inside of us, we carried each age-version of ourselves? What if when we are triggered, we respond as that hurt little 6 year old girl trapped inside, instead of our best self? I believe that this is true not only of children, but all ages of all people who push our buttons. What if instead of reacting in the moment, we took a breath, and chose to respond? This card is referring to something deeper than just parenting different than we were parented. It is about re-parenting ourselves, loving those broken, unplugged parts of ourselves that show up frayed in our lives. When we love the unresolved and give it room to breathe, we create space for our children to do the same. We interrupt the patterns that have been plaguing us for years and we make room to ALLOW a new way of being in relationship with others. This week, we are encouraged to be aware of the button pushers in our lives, to respond and NOT react. Remember, we are mirrors for one another, especially the teachers in our lives. For example, if I am triggered by my 12 year old teacher, one of my favorite questions to ask myself when I am on the cusp of reacting is “what was happening in my life when I was 12?” Ah! The insight that can flood in! The compassion! The awareness! And collectively, a space is created to respond more appropriately – I can then parent in a way that heals my 12 year old self AND my 12 year old teacher. It is a win-win for all and a chance to rewrite history. As we heal thyself a new frontier of parenting awaits.