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I Just Want to Live.

I’ve been in a weird head space the last few weeks. Initially, I thought it was the pandemic and the extended lockdown.  It seemed like a decent explanation. But, looking back, now I see that the announcement to extend the latest lock down triggered or reactivated a trauma response – there are things that lie dormant

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We all need a BOOST…

Well, I’m gonna do it again.  Step in to complete vulnerability and likely overshare. Back in February 2020, I was feeling those inner nudges to get my body moving again. Since being diagnosed with Leishmaniasis in 2019, undergoing chemotherapy and fighting my way back from the bugs, I had gained 25lbs.  Mostly from inactivity and having to

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Tears In My Eyes

I turned every page with tears in my eyes.  Tears of terror. I can’t believe I am doing this. I have bared my breasts to a room full of students who needed to learn breast massage in college. I have bared my vagina to a room full of students at a Naturopathic College who needed to

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Anniversaries

Journal Entry #90 Anniversaries are a strange thing.  We usually talk about them when we are celebrating something monumental that happens in our lives.  Like weddings, friendships and successes.  Lately, Anniversaries have been more around loss, like losing loved ones.  Imminently, for me, the Anniversary of Diagnosis.  For those who have had the pleasure and the pain of a life changing diagnosis, you may

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Sandpaper

Journal Entry # 89 It took me 4 days to recover from a 30 minute workout.  The good news is that I am back on my feet and feeling like I can get back to work and life.  I was able to get in to see Dr. Katrina to boost my nutrients and immune system

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This too shall pass.

Journal Entry #88 Life has been ticking by.  I am feeling stronger every day.  I seem to be engaging in life a little more like I used to before Leishmaniasis.  I have been planning ahead for workshops and meditation gatherings.  I have initiated a project for International Women’s Day coming up on March 8th.  It

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I am stronger than the fear.

Journal Entry #87 It is so nice to be home.  In my own bed. With my own pillows. With our kids and our cat. With no bugs. I am happy to report that we survived Bequia AND that Bequia survived us.  We made some amazing memories, met some awesome locals, and enjoyed the vitamin D! 

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Let’s talk about sex, baby.

Journal Entry #86 *Warning – if talking about vaginas makes you uncomfortable, perhaps you should skip this blog post.* Intimacy has been a challenge for us over the last year.  I have discovered that bugs feasting on my flesh is not an aphrodisiac for either myself or Tim. Believe it or not, It is actually

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Bliss

Journal Entry #85 We’ve been in Bequia for 7 full days now, and I finally feel like I am on vacation! I guess I was wrapped more tightly than I realized… The others are starting to talk about making arrangements to go home, and I am thinking – wtf?! I just got here!  My intention

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It’s a Small World Afterall…

Journal Entry #84 It is a small world. Full of Angels. We have been here in Bequia for four days.  And we have already met some amazing locals.  Juliana and Kurt have been really helpful in giving us local tips and pointing us in the direction of local entertainment and restaurants. Jew runs a water

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