May 26, 2019

100 Tic-Tacs

Journal Entry #23

When I first pop a Tic-Tac into my mouth, I immediately taste the sweet, and then the refreshing mint.  It is kind of a slow release “pick-me-up” that leaves me feeling refreshed. Even when I rush it, and crunch through one, I feel refreshed with a little more pep-in-my-step.  Just for a minute, imagine that Tic-Tacs are like an energy currency…

Every day, healthy or not, I start my day with 100 Tic-Tacs.

Every morning, before I open my eyes, I take about 5 minutes to intentionally start my day.  I start with a few breaths, I affirm that a positive, productive and passionate day is ahead of me.  I imagine the main 3-4 things that I want to accomplish in the day, I prioritize them and feel the satisfaction of completion, even before my feet touch the ground.  And on days when the list is really long, or a busy, overwhelming day looms ahead, I prioritize 5-10minutes of meditation somewhere in the day.  Even on the days that I oversleep, I do NOT miss this start to my day.  It is that important.  On days where I hit the ground running to clean up vomit or blood and this important step is missed, the whole day becomes a gong-show.  Because I am scattered, without focus, goals or direction for the day.

I am a multi-tasker, so in the shower is when I mentally focus on my affirmations and balance my chakras.  Every day is different, I just let it flow from my heart like a prayer…and the end result is a re-enforced feeling of stability and positivity.  I may sound something like this:

“I am safe and secure.  All of my desires are met, right now.  I am lovingly assertive and kind. I am loved.  I love.  It is easy for me to give and receive love.  Everyone who hears my words today benefits from them.  It is easy for me to see the truth in any situation.  I am willing to hear the truth in any situation. I am open to knowing my truth and connecting to Divine.  Today, I choose to live in service of others purposefully and passionately.”

Just a few months ago, my day would have continued on with all the typical household chores, running kids to activities and back and forth to school and seeing 6-8 clients a day.  My general mindset felt like “I can do, see, be, have it all.”  I was an organized busy, that always seemed to have time, energy and room for more.

My Tic-Tacs went a long way.

I would spend 2 Tic-Tacs on my morning routine.  Another 10-20 on the kids and running them to their activities. It would cost me about 5-10 Tic-Tacs per client.  I would add more Tic-Tacs to my day through exercise, meditation, breathing intentionally, earthing, yoga etc.  And then I would spend some more Tic-Tacs on household chores, unresolved issues, volunteer work, projects etc.  The currency of my Tic-Tacs was very fluid, easily replenishable, easily spent.

The cool thing about Tic-Tac energy, is that every day is a new day. Every day, no matter what, I start fresh with 100 new Tic-Tacs.  There is no carry over.  And I never start with less than 100.

Yesterday, I spent 25 Tic-Tacs going to the Naturopath.  55 Tic-Tacs going to my son’s baseball game, and visiting with friends. 10 Tic-Tacs on conversations.  10 Tic-Tacs on caring for my body.

Today, I spent 70 Tic-Tacs just on caring for my body…basic care…not even showering…just wound care, bum care, resting, sleeping, fighting nausea, keeping quiet to not disturb the splitting headache I developed 2 days ago, following the medication routine and forcing myself to eat.  I spent 20 Tic-Tacs on getting the Church E-blast out…late.  I seem to stare at things and forget what and why I am staring at it, or have an answer or a thought to share and lose it before I can really grasp it.  It is terribly frustrating, however, I do understand that it is only temporary.  I did not add any Tic-Tacs to my account today. I did not have Tic-Tacs for visitors today, or for conversation. And now that I have slept all day, and am set up comfy in my bed, I am using my last Tic-Tacs to write this.

Some may think that this is a silly way to spend the last few Tic-Tacs of the day.

I write for me, to empty my thoughts, to process through and make sense of what I am feeling.  Writing seems to help me find clarity, even when I didn’t know I needed it.  And this feels purposeful, somehow.  Maybe, journaling isn’t spending Tic-Tacs, maybe it is gaining them?

I will figure out a more balanced way of managing my currency…this is all new.  I have just gone from 150mph to zero, basically over-night.  I have some learning and adjusting to do.  I will also have some negotiation and priority setting as I heal and find a new normal as I adjust to life after Leishmaniasis.

Today, as spent as I am, is the first day that I feel ENCOURAGED. There are subtle changes happening in the foot wound…FINALLY!  It is day 23 of taking the Miltefosine, and the ulcer is starting to flatten, and the pain is less in the wound itself.  There is no new activity.  I was able to soak my foot today.  All very positive.

I have started using Manuka Honey (Medihoney) on the two wounds on my arm and hand to help expedite healing and decrease scarring.  I will meet with the Naturopath again next week, and I am excited about this part of the journey – I will share more on this in another entry.

At the end of the day, I am grateful for all the prayers, love and support.  I know that I wouldn’t be able to go through this without all of you.  The constant messages, texts, cards, calls are so helpful in keeping my Spirit up and focused on a positive result.  I know that there are so many others out there going through difficult times too, and to you I say, hang in there!  Even on the days when our Tic-Tacs are only used for survival, our village is using theirs to help us get through.  We are blessed.


Xo Juli

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